i’m perpetually afraid of growing up. each time i reach a new threshold in my life, i’m just as scares to cross it as i was to cross the previous one. tomorrow is my last day of 11th grade. Junior year. which means, obviously, that this coming September i will be in my last year of High School. this is so weird to me, because i feel like yesterday i was literally 7 years old. i remember laying in bed at night after hanging out with my older cousins, and trying to picture what i would look like at their age. i would wonder which friends i would still have, who i would be dating, where i would work, what my car would look like. it all seemed so distant. and now it’s here. i’m gonna be a Senior.
although this past school year felt a little dull, it was actually momentous. i learned how to play the guitar, got my first job, was cast as the lead role in my school play, sang a solo at a cappella competition, survived multiple AP and honors classes, got a poem published for the first time, made a crazy amount of new friends, hung onto all my old ones, and learned to drive. i think it’s so important to be appreciative of the experiences each year grants you, especially in High School, where you are still growing and are still molding yourself into the person you would like to be.
i learned a lot of lessons this year, most importantly that i always need to keep myself in mind before i get too caught up in other people. i learned that friends can have conflicting opinions. i learned that i despise the concept of “favoritism” and the negative connotation associated with it. nobody, including myself, should feel ashamed of their hard work and dedication. i learned that it’s better to keep yourself too busy than to let yourself get lazy. i learned that school is not a competition and you must focus on obtaining grades that satisfy you, not ones that rank amongst the best and brightest students. i learned that nothing feels better than having a friend you can talk to about anything in the world. i learned that it is okay to feel proud of yourself and celebrate your accomplishments. i learned to always say “thank you” after compliments, instead of refusing to accept them. i learned to use my voice and speak out if something is bothering me.
at this point next year i’ll know what college i’m going to. oh my god.
there’s no need for tentative steps. Senior year will bring me just as many great times as Junior year did. i have to make the most of it. 11th grade- it’s been real.